


A Ferret (Or Four) in the Hub

by roguewords



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Crack, Ferrets, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 09:37:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11159193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguewords/pseuds/roguewords
Summary: Sometimes, the strangest things came through the Rift.





	A Ferret (Or Four) in the Hub

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to the BBC. Dude, I'm not even British. I definitely don't own this. I make no money from this. None of the ferrets belong to me either.  
> Author's Note: I wrote this simply to cheer up researchgrrrl. Therefore, I apologize for the crack. Please note, no ferrets were actually harmed in the making of this fic. Thanks to deense for the beta!

*

 

Kimberly looked franticly for Kiki. "Oh where oh where has my little overlord gone? And where the hell are the rest of my ferrets?"

 

*

Sometimes, the strangest things came through the Rift. 

 

*

Kiki, the Littlest Overlord, chittered at Mason, Sampson and Colin. Or she would have if Colin had been paying attention and not wandering off before she could tell the boys that once and for all she was in charge. Especially since nothing smelled right and Their Person was not around. 

Instead, Kiki, Mason and Sampson ended up following Colin down something that seemed like a hole. Maybe it lead to a tunnel.

Colin was lucky he was pretty. And lucky that she was tired of getting wet.

 

*

Gwen stared as four little bodies made their way down the column. "Tosh, do you see that?"

"See what?" 

"Look at the column, crawling their way down." 

"Are those? Ferrets?"

"It would seem so," Ianto said. "I'll go round them up, make sure they don't turn into pterodactyl food."

 

*

 

There was a large thing that apparently did not know that she was the Littlest Overlord and therefore She Was In Charge. It made noises at her and she chittered back at it. She Was In Charge. That's the way things went, and just because they weren't at home didn't mean she wasn't.

Luckily for her, Ianto came along and scooped her up, and set her in the cage with her Minions. 

 

*

 

"Oh Gwen, who does this one remind you of?" Tosh asked as she played with the sort of white ferret. He kept crawling in her lap, up her shoulders, back down her chest, and then stopping and looking almost like he was waiting for a round of applause. Gwen watched this behavior for a few minutes and then burst into giggles, with Toshiko doing the same. 

"Hey guys, what do we have here?" Jack asked as he came up, making the women giggle even more.

Just when Tosh and Gwen could breath again, the little girl ferret came over and Jack started flirting with her. 

A whole new reason to burst into giggles.

 

*

 

The two Persons looked at Mason. Mason for his part, was mostly being good. Well, he hadn't tried to eat anything yet. 

"What do you suppose they eat?" 

"How should I know? Owen snapped back. "Why didn't you just let the pterodactyl eat them anyway?"

"Gwen saw them first."

 

*

Kiki had gotten the boys to settle down and listen to her plan to take over the New Place. Except she was getting kind of tired as well. She crawled into the cage thing with the boys and slept on top of them. 

 

At least until Colin woke up. He was really the cause of all of this. Colin was going to be getting his, oh yes. Colin chittered excitedly at the rest of them. 

 

Then Kiki smelled it too. She ran out, the boys following her, and made her way back up the column. Back out the tunnel, back to where they had started in this strange place. It smelled like Home. She ran faster. 

 

*

 

"Where are the ferrets?" Jack asked, as he poured his first cup of coffee for the morning.

"I think they may have gone home," Ianto said. "I saw them leave the same way they came in."

"Huh. They were fun. We should get one for the Hub."

"Jack, we have a pterodactyl. Do we really need ferrets? She tried to eat those four, and if it had not of been for the little girl, she would have. We don't need ferrets."

"Then maybe we should just get a few for your place," Jack smiled.

"No, Jack."

 

*

Kiki could smell home. She knew it was home, because there was Their Person standing there, looking like she was about to tear her hair out. Colin chittered, and Their Person turned around.

"Where in the hell did you guys teleport in from this time?"

Kiki looked at Colin, waiting for him to explain. Instead, he just looked Pretty. Mason and Sampson had already gone off in search of food and water, so it was left to her. She dropped her new toy, and scrambled towards Their Person, stopping only to be picked up. 

When Their Person picked up her new toy instead of her, Kiki chittered. 

"And where in the hell did you get a pterodactyl tooth from?"

 

The end.


End file.
